Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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