Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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