I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
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I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
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Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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