My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
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Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
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Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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