are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
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its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
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I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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