Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
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