Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize