Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize