it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
You are a genius and a whore.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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