sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
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