my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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