don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
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I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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