If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize