Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize