toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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