She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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