I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize