so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
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I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
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I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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