I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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