i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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