I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize