i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize