I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Someone signed my nipple.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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