I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
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