Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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