so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize