nut hugger
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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