My nipple is on Facebook.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
my vag is so smooth its legendary
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize