so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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