i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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