i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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