She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
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Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
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Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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