Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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