Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
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I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
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I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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