Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize