I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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