please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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