Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
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He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
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Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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