I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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