last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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