I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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