my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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