i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize