This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize