her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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