I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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