As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
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If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
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