Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
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Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
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I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He did a backflip because drugs
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