The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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