just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Girls should come with a carfax report
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Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize